Death

Death is inevitable. It's a painful thing that everyone must go through at some point in life. Death of a pet, an aquaintance, a friend, a family, a loved one and finally, death of yourself. It is a horrible experience, death is. It can break your spirits and happiness in an instant and make you lose hope for the future. It's a scary thing to go through it alone.

The first experience I had with death was when my father died when I was only about 9 and a half years old. I could never forget that day, and how I acted through it. I was young, and stupid. I didn't understand what it was when a person is dying. I didn't know how to react. I just stood there, staring without even shedding a tear until it was all too late. I didn't cry on his deathbed, I didn't cry when we buried him, I didn't cry for weeks. I cried only after a few months had passed and by then it was too late for me to even say goodbye to him.

Everyone dealt with this in their own way. My mom stayed in bed for weeks and wasn't up to doing anything most of the time. My sister was away in UK, London finishing up her studies. My brother became rebellious at the time, sneaking out of the house and getting into trouble. I was trying to be... a perfect child. I tried my best indulging myself into studying to avoid discussing it or even remembering the painful memories of that day. It was only years after that I realized that even if I avoided it by studying and being the perfect son who never gets into trouble, I'll have to face the reality of not seeing my dad again. No matter how much I didn't want to accept that reality, it won't ever change. After realizing that, I focused on moving on with my life. I still haven't succeeded in doing this but I'm trying my best.

I'm not afraid if death was coming for me, but I am afraid if it were to come for anyone I cared for and love. If death were to come for someone else that I cared about so much anytime soon, I don't know how I could ever face it. If it were to come for me, I'd say bring it on. I'd like to see it try and take me away. I sound like a hypocrite right now, but we can't fear it when it comes. Death is inevitable, so we can never let it control us.