Google for Best Tutor Award

As many of you know I've been studying... well trying to study my brains out for my finals that's happening in just a few more days. I especially need help in the Physics department as I'm not a big fan of numbers like these unless they're in my wallet and it's a positive value. Anyways~ since it's study week break there's just no one at college for me to ask for help on Physics, so who else do I turn to when I don't know what I need to know? You got it.



This has to be one of the best inventions ever made. Everything I needed to know about Physics I just typed it on Google and I have my answer with more than enough examples. Just goes to show that the saying holds it's truth. Don't know the saying? Google it.

Join and have some fun!

Hey there people!

Okay so lately I've been bored out of my mind at home and at college nowadays as there is just nothing left for me to do! So about two months back Calvin and I thought of playing an online game together but we couldn't decide on what game to play. We've played practically almost all MMORPGs, but we never played one together before. Sooo after much debate we settled for..



We had both played Granado Espada before, and we had a lot of fun playing it. So we decided to start fresh with the game from level 1. It's been over two months since we played the game and both of us have reached quite high levels as it is. Our highest characters right now are level 110. For those of you who are unfamiliar with GE, basically in this game you can control up to 3 characters at once. Best feature of this game is the auto battle system! It allows you to play the game while doing other stuff. You guys can find out more about the game at the webby---> ge.iahgames.com/site/Default.aspx

The game is great and I really like playing it. It's heavily influenced by baroque style era and the music in the game is just phenomenal. Come and try it out if you want! It's a free game! I'll post more about my time in the game from time to time so stay tune if you're interested hehe.

A brand new face and attitude!

Hey there people!

It's been ages since I sat down and wrote on the blog. Plenty of stories to tell all of you over the past 6 months. I'm sure you noticed that I changed the blog look. Just to let you guys know it's still under the changing process. Some of my widgets aren't functioning properly like before and some need to be updated. I'll do that once my finals are over next week. By the way those that aren't in the current friends list over to your right-side, please leave your links on the chatbox or on the comments for this post! I lost all of my friend's links after the blog makeover. Thanks in advance guys!

A lot has been happening over the past 6 months that I'm not sure where I should start... Oh! As of the beginning of August I had officially stepped down as the chairperson of Editorial Board. It's been one heck of a ride, but my time in INTI will be over by the end of this semester, which is next week. I passed the club down to Venetia as the new chairperson, as well as handpicked most of the new committee members for Editorial Board. I have high hopes for them to re-lite the fire in the club that was dwindling over the past few months. I think it's gonna be alright. So far I've been playing the role of advisor for the club after the handover, teaching all of them the ropes for one last time before I leave. Editorial Board has been my baby for almost my whole life in INTI. I hope to see it live on even when I'm no longer around.

So far they've made two issues of the newsletter since the handover. I'd have to admit I felt both glad and worried at the same time from seeing the newsletter that they produce. It wasn't like our past issues, that's for sure. But this is the first time that all of them are doing it without most of the senior core members so hopefully they'll spread their wings soon enough and fly with the newsletter up sky high.

On the plus side there seems to be a lot of new faces in the club which I'm happy for them. As they say, the more the merrier. Hopefully with the new semester next year they would be able to pull in more people to join the club.

I feel kind of sad and it was heartbreaking to say goodbye to the club, but life goes on. Our reign, the seniors, are over and it's now time for the juniors to step up to the plate. All I can say is good luck to all of you and strive on!

Losing the Pieces

Insecurity has been filling up my time lately. I have been thinking of how dependent I am getting towards my close friends. Whenever I wanted to do something, I felt as if... it was necessary to get their "approval" on it. I seemed to have lost my individualistic behavior as I can't seem to be by myself anymore.

It used to be so simple. I had set to myself a few basic rules to follow after my dad died. One of it being that I should never get close to anyone, because everyone would leave you one day. If you never get close to them, then you would never end up getting hurt again. I've been breaking that rule lately it seems... as I can't seem to go through the day normally without spending time with certain people.

But, just because I hang out with them almost everyday, doesn't mean that I have told them about what has been going on lately. I still have my mask on, even if the pain was excruciating... I don't like to trouble any of them with any of it as they have their own problems to deal with. Who am I to further burden them and spoil the fun?

Little pieces of me are breaking away from myself. I've change into something that I wish it had never existed. I wonder if I would still be able to keep a straight face when the time comes and I have to be separated from them. I guess only time will tell.

Time heals... and a lot of zombies help too!

Hey people~~

Gosh I know I have been sooooo out of touch with the blog already and it has been sooo emo lately especially the last one, but I will try to keep it updated as much as I can minus the anger ehehe.

Anyways, after the last post I felt waaaaay better, as in my mood hahaha! And it helps to have some zombies around to kill as well hehe. Nowadays a lot of us are just addicts when it comes to Left 4 Dead 2. We almost couldn't go on without playing it everyday, seriously!

But it does the heart and soul good, especially when you get to kill your friends in there! And the blood... oh the blood... one word, beautiful. You guys should really play it if you haven't hahaha!! It is way better than going to a shrink for therapy hahaa!

Thanks to L4D2 I manage to have even more close friends and also strengthen the ones that I already have, along with making new ones. Nowadays I always hang out with Bentan, Patricky, Yo-yo Jon, Datuk Boomer Daniel, and Jia Gen, my high schoolmate whom I never really talk to before. He's in Taylor's now and will be leaving for the US next month.

All I have to post for now as I'm still eating my hugeeee lolipop I found in my fridge earlier! Half way done!! Hehe see ya people!

Where are you?

Seriously … I can’t believe that none of them remembered what the 29th of March is… All of them are having the time of their lives like it never happened… they don’t even seem to have any remote feelings about it… Why do I have to go through it alone?

Back then, I was the one who had to be the grownup when everyone was too busy going through their grief… What about me? Who was supposed to be in charge of me? I was just a kid... Why do I have to take care of all of you and say that everything is going to be alright when you guys are the ones that were supposed to be telling me that?

When one of you had conflicts with each other after the event, why do I have to be the catalyst of the conflict? What did I do to make myself be in that position? Why am I to be blamed? Why can’t you blame yourself instead of blaming the kid who had to take care of all of you?

When one of you got sick, I had to be the one to stay at home and take care of you. No one else wanted to volunteer. Was school unimportant for me to go through? Why was it that a kid had to be the one to take care of a grownup? Why was there no one helping me when I was sick? Where was my hand of salvation?

When one of you was full of anger, I was the one that you vent your anger out to. I was the punching bag for you, even though I was going through the same thing as all of you. Why couldn’t you return the favour and let me at least yell at one of you to make myself feel better?

When one of you wanted to cry, I gave you my shoulder to cry on… Why wasn’t I treated the same? Why couldn’t I have the time to cry for myself? Instead, I was there looking after all of you, being strong for you.

I was there for all of you, where was my support?! And now after 10 years, you act is if he doesn't exist anymore… All of you just laugh at your jokes and complain about whatever idiotically petty matters that you are going through while I am still suffering. Even after 10 years, am I still the adult and still have to keep my feelings to myself? I can’t even have a normal conversation with anyone of you, because I don’t even know what to say to all of you anymore… Where’s my shoulder to cry on? Who do I vent my anger out to? Who is going to take care of me? Where is everyone…?

Reminiscence of the past...

Hey people,

It's been over a month since I posted anything on the blog.. so sorry about that. Too much has been going that did not allow me to have any free time to update it. Right now I'm struggling as it is writing even this post.

The month of depression has reached yet again for another consecutive year. The effects seem to have kicked in earlier than expected, as I'm having those old feelings yet again. I can already see that I'm starting to distance myself from people, and I can see that I've been staying away from my family again.

I've been trying to focus my mind on the things I need to do instead of dwelling upon the past, but the effort seems wasted as I'm still enveloped by it. Especially on the month filled with mixed feelings.. Mostly bringing up painful memories..

Bitterness, sorrow, anger, all of them are swirling and being stirred inside of me frequently as I think of the past even more. The feel of joy, happiness, and love seem so distant now. I'm not even sure if I can hold up a smile in front of others for this coming month. For anyone I may hurt this coming month be it physically or mentally, I apologize for it now. This won't be an easy month for me...