Bye 'Atuk'!

Hey everyone,

Sorry I haven't been posting. I lost the internet connection at my house and a lot of things have been happening since the holiday started last Friday. Today's post will be a little bit emo so for those who hate it when I write emotional stuff on my blog, you've been warned.

I found out last Friday that my grandfather, or 'atuk' as me, my siblings and my cousins like to call him, was sick. He had cancer, and my family and I didn't heard the news until Friday. He's been diagnosed with cancer for the past 6 months, and last week they told us he had only a few days left to live. We were all shocked by this piece of information.

When we went to visit him after hearing that last Friday, he looked so different, so sick. He couldn't walk, he couldn't talk, he couldn't move at all other than his fingers and toes. Even moving those were a struggle for him. I couldn't help myself but cry when I saw him like that.

I remembered the times when I would visit him often when I was little, with my dad, mom, brother and sister. We always had fun at his house. There was no sadness, no suffering, just happiness. I used to see my grandpa and grandma working n their garden, trying to grow some vegetables for themselves and flowers as well.

Then, I remembered playing in their house with my cousins. We were playing tag inside the house and our grandmother would be yelling at us, but grandpa was always the 'cool' one and joined in the fun with us. He always had a smile on his face, never showing any sadness. We played pirates, we played card games, and many more inside that house.

During Christmas, everyone would gather in grandpa and grandma's house to be together. I remember that they would always have the same small Christmas tree every year, but with different decorations on it. Below the tree would be our presents from them, which were always so nice.

When I was just a little boy, he would carry me around, going to places. He would introduce me to some of his friends. He would teach me things about the society that I didn't already know. He would help me with some of my homeworks in anyway he can. He would always be there whenever I needed comfort. I'll miss all of what he has been doing for me a lot...

Grandpa always had a smile on his face. He never showed sadness in front of anybody intentionally. He loved to make people laugh. He loved to joke around. He loved all of us equally, regardless of our sins or whatsoever. He loved making our faces smile whenever he can. He cared for his friends. He cared for his family. He was William Harry.

I can't hear your voice anymore. I can't feel your comforting hand anymore. I can't see your smile anymore. I can't smell the cologne you use to wear on you anymore. I can't taste anything that you cooked anymore. It saddens me for this to happen, but I know that a piece of you would always remain in our hearts.

You have touched our lives in so many ways. We grew so much from having your presence. You made us all happy, and we hope that we did the same for you. I shall say goodbye to you, without being sad, as I know that you wouldn't like it. Bye 'Atuk'!!! Take care on the other side and say hello to 'Papa' for me!!!

In loving memory of William Harry

A good husband,

A good Father,

A good Grandfather,

A good Friend.

Fig & Olives at Sunway Pyramid

Restaurant Review Time!

It's that time of the week again! Time for me to review some stuffs that I can't really do on the INTI Insider because of all the sensorship the management of ICSJ gave me. Yes!!! Time for an eye scorching review of things you like, things you hate, things you don't even know about! This time, I'll be giving a review to the restaurant Fig & Olives, located at Sunway Pyramid.

I went there with Bentan, Sie Hui, and Susan to eat dinner because Tarbush was already full at the time. We all decided to eat at Fig & Olive at the recommendation of the information's desk. When we first got there, it looked so empty and we were wondering that if it's empty because the food wasn't good or what. Boy our questions were answered fast. The service there was kind of horrible. The waiters weren't exactly easy to call on. But they do give a service with a smile, even if they are ignorant towards their customers.

Next, the choices of the food. The food wasn't exactly spread out in variety. It was more focused on western food. Another thing I would like to complain is the menu. Their descriptions of what they have are horrible. Some don't even have descriptions. Like their specialty drinks. They just put the name of the drink and the prices which ranged from RM9.50-RM10.00 without even a description of what the drink really is as they changed the names of the drinks to their liking. We had to ask the waiter to know what we were ordering for our throats to hydrate on.

The food portion, I can't really complain on it much. It was quite big even if the prices are a little bit expensive. I'd say it's worth it as the food portion is enough to stuff you full. Not to mention that it tastes quite nice as well. But I would like to complain on their Sicilian Tuna Penne was that it wasn't spicy enough. I tried it with one bite from Sie Hui and I could tell straight away that it didn't feel spicy at all. It felt more like tomato ketchup from a bottle than a homemade chilli sauce.

Besides that, the atmosphere was nice I guess. But it can't win as a romantic date spot as there are no secluded or quiet tables around. More towards friends gathering and family lunch/dinner. Overall I think I'll give it a rating of 6 out of 10.

Ramadhan Bazaar Feast

Hey people,

Sorry that it's been awhile since I last posted. I currently have no internet connection at home, so I had to come to college on a Sunday to leech off the WiFi. Anyways~ Moving on to what happened last week on Thursday.

Sie Hui had planned to eat with Bentan that day after we all called him the day before to join us to eat. Unfortunately he was busy at the time so planned for the next day instead. We hadn't decide on where to eat, but we were definitely sure on meeting with each other at 6pm. Then, J.C. Suggested that we go to the Ramadhan Bazaar near SS18 like we did the week before. So we all unanimously agreed as Sie Hui and Bentan haven't had any bazaar food from there yet.

There were six of us going at the time, 2 cars. J.C. was driving Tynnkerbel and Daniel there first and Ben was driving Sie Hui and I. Funny thing is, we got there first before they did even though they left first hahahah! Apparently they got stuck in a traffic jam along the way.

Since we had reached there first, we decided to survey the place and check out which food we all wanted to buy. There were so many choices, but then again most of them are selling the same old thing. The bazaar at SS18 was big I guess, but it felt smaller than it was last time. There wasn't really much variety foodwise as everyone was selling basically the same thing at the same prices. Though some chose to be entrepreneurs and sell it at a cheaper price or at a larger quantity.

Anyways, after J.C.'s group reached the place, we started buying our food already. We bought a lot of food from the bazaar that day to make it look like a feast hahaha! For myself, I bought a Nasi Ayam, Nasi Tomato, and Kebab Pita. The rice was nice, but the kebab was horrible. I regretted buying it after I ate it.

Before I eat of course, we were waiting for the time to break my phast to arrive, and we all went to Asia Cafe to eat our spoils of bargains. Bentan and I ordered a Large Tropical Fruit Juice from AC, which looked seriously good. It was a three-layered fruit drink. Bottom layer was Dragonfruit, middle was Mango, and to top it off, Honeydew. All of you should try it sometime. It's seriously good.

Our table was so funny as it was infested with food everywhere. And here's the good part. No utensils to eat it with hahahaha!! Bentan had the idea of getting some utensils from buying some chicken from Uncle Bob's Chicken. It worked in a way, he got two forks and two spoons. I just ate my food with my hand since I'm use to it already. J.C. and Tynnkerbel were eating their portions with some of the utensils Bentan got as well. Don't ask me how four people use two forks and two spoons to eat. Hahahaha!!!

Bentan and I got a little high on the fruit juice. Then again, Bentan was already feeling high before hahaha! For me, I get high when I drink any fruit juice. It's like my beer to get me drunk. We all started talking lots and lots of crap at the table and laughing our heads off everytime. We got so full when we finished eating everything, especially Bentan as he bought a lot of food at the bazaar with a side-dish of chicken from Uncle Bob's hahaha!

He agreed to send me home so we said goodbye to Sie Hui and walked to the direction of his car along with J.C. and Tynnkerbel behind us, walking at the same direction. The two of them were staying away from both of us as we were acting like complete drunkards at the time hahahahah!!! This is what happens when I drink any fruit juice. After that, Bentan dropped me off at my guardhouse where I saw my aunt and cousin there waiting for my mom and sis. I was wondering what's up and why are they waiting here. Apparently my other cousin just had her third baby that day. Yay!!! I have another nephew~ They still haven't decide on a name for him yet though haha! But he's so cute and little and so red hahahaha!!

Anyways, that's all for now. I need to go and finish up my lab reports and assignments now before I procrastinate it until the very last minute again. See ya people!

New Old Hobby Revived!

Hey people,

Okay, don't worry I'm done with the emo posts for now hahaha! I was feeling too inspired during those times that I just couldn't help myself. Anyway, moving on to a newfound past time of mine. I've recently been feeling very interested in giving people massages again.

I use to like giving massages, even when I was little. I always watched how happy those people on tv or my family members and how relaxed they were whenever they got the massages. All their troubles and worries seemed to have washed away from them. It seemed as though it had some magical powers, my thoughts were back when I was little. And so I started getting interested in giving people massages, because I wanted everyone to be happy at the time.

But after awhile and a few chain of events, I had lost interest in giving and receiving massages. That is up until I started in INTI. Back then, I think it was Alexis who got me interested in giving people massages again. When she was massaging the stiff necks of others, as I watched her perform it, the magic from when I was little came back, little by little. Though, I still didn't like receiving massages, unless I completely trust that person.

Nowadays, I've really gotten interested in giving massages again. I even bought the oil for it. But unfortunately, I don't really have a practice dummy on which I can train myself in giving massages. I got Benjamin to help me out in practicing the neck and shoulder massage, but that is without using any oils. He still enjoyed it though hahaha! I'm gonna try and see if he wants to be my practice dummy for the other parts as well. Then I could at least improve my skills as a masseuse hahahaa!!

Besides Benjamin, honestly I don't really know who else would like to get free massages. Amos was my practice dummy before for the neck and shoulder and slight back as well. But now that he's not in INTI anymore, I can't practice on him anymore. Sad...

I've been watching a lot of online videos on different techniques for massaging, but it all seemed still too good for me. Some of them are simple, and I know how to do it. It's just the amount of power that I have to use on different people are different. So I'm not really sure if I'm doing it too soft or too hard. This is why I need more practice with this... Especially with using the oil for massaging. I still haven't used it on anyone besides myself, which was on my legs. It felt good, but not as good as someone else doing it for me.

Another problem if I wanted to practice using the oil on anyone would be location. I can't really do it in my room as I'm sharing it with my brother, and it's quite hard to find someone who stays around and would like to try it. I can stay over at the person's house I guess, but then it still depends on things like if the person is comfortable with it, and what day would it be as I have classes on every weekday. Probably the only free time I have is Saturday and Sunday.

Oh well, I guess I'll try my luck with asking some people like Benjamin. If I'm lucky, I could find someone who would let me try it all. We'll see how it goes. Okay, enough procrastinating. It's time to finish up some assignments and prepare for INTIMA Week!

Fear

Everyone feels afraid once in awhile. But what happens when we let fear take control of our lives? Should we just stand idle and let it happen, or do we fight? Even if the fight were to be endless, should we continue to fight? Can we actually say that we'll keep fighting regardless of how tired or how exhausted we are...?

There are many things that I'm afraid of right now. I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of losing friends. I'm afraid of letting others down. I'm afraid of being a lost cause for everyone. I'm afraid of saying goodbye to people. I'm afraid of being betrayed again by others. I'm afraid of losing control. I'm afraid of the future. I'm afraid of being away from home. I'm afraid of being at home. I'm afraid of trusting people. I'm afraid of it all and more...

Do I let it control my life, or do I stand and fight, or do I run away from it all?

I chose to avoid it, but I still stand my ground trying to fend off that eerie feeling. Above all else, I will most definitely not let fear take control of my life. I may be of no use to myself, but I can still be of help to others who are facing problems as well. We can't let fear stop us from hoping.

For when there is Hope, there is a chance for Love, Faith, and Peace to exist...

A New Beginning. . .

Class has officially started already, as the September semester began just 12 hours ago. Wow, can't believe it's been more than a year since I came to ICSJ. I still remember, the first day that I became an INTI student. The first friend I made in college, J.C. The first group of people I hung out with, Naomi, Jean, Sharmini. My first lecturer, Miss Kamala. The first club I joined, Editorial Board. The first college event I went to, Orientation Night of May 2008.

I still remember, the first time that I told anyone my secrets. It was only to those few people, whom I could trust with my life. I could always count on them. I wish I could have more time with them, but life has to go on at some point and we can't be in paradise forever.

The day that I went out with friends for the first time, just for fun, was with all of you. You asked me like a normal person, with no strings attached. Not out of pity, or out of exploition, but just for the fun of hanging out. Something that I haven't experience in a long time. It felt so good, to be a friend and not a victim.

When I was drowning in misery, all of you were there to pull me out of that depth of darkness and into the surface of light. I had completely given up hope in anyone helping out of kindness, until I met all of you. I didn't want to accept it at the time, that there couldn't exist such warmth, such kindness, such sincerity... But it all changed in time. All of you successfully cracked open the shell that I've been hiding under for more than 10 years... just with simple sentences like "What are friends for?", "It's never too late", "Don't give up", "Whenever you need someone, I'm always there for you", "We're brothers aren't we?", "Your closer to me than anyone here *****". I'll never forget those words...

The first working experience I ever felt, was wonderful. The people that I worked with, I couldn't ask for better co-workers. I felt the responsibility, and the feeling of being needed. For once, there wasn't a voice that said I was useless, that I can't help anyone. I loved the feeling of being wanted. It may sound like a selfish reason to help others, but that reason has made it possible for me to be of service to others. I grew so much from the experience. Both from working as a student helper in INTI, and for working inside the Editorial Board. Thank you...

My first birthday, that I celebrated with friends instead of just my family. All of you did it unsuspectingly, that day I thought that you were just being nice and said that you wanted to throw me a party. "That it was just all talk, but still nice of them to mention that", I thought at the time. It caught me by surprise when all of you really did do the party. I felt so accepted by everyone, so appreciated. The warmth that all of you gave me, I'll remember it always.

When I was far away in a different country, feeling down, all of you talked to me online, or sent me an email. We just talked, and it took my mind off of all the sadness that was in me. I didn't feel sad at all when I'm talking to all of you. I felt free, to be who I really was infront of you guys.

So much has happened in a span of a year. Many bonds were made and broken in just a year. Some I wish didn't have to end, and some I am grateful that it continued. I've had to say goodbye to so many good friends, that it makes me grief with such sadness. I can't believe that they're gone, just like that. Some have left for the U.S.A. and some had left INTI to pursue their careers or other studies, while others have completely lost touch with me that we never speak anymore. To those close friends of mine, thank you for all the wonderful memories that we've experienced. Especially to Han Sen, Alexis, Lik Pang, Amos, Sie Hui, Jonathan, Suzanne, Yi Qian and the rest of you guys. You've been the best, and I've had so much fun with all of you. I can't believe that most of you are gone from INTI already, but even if I don't believe that fact, it doesn't change what reality is. I'm happy for you guys, truly.

After this semester, I'll lose even more friends. But I'll still have them for this semester. And I'm happy to be with all of them like Zjen Thak, Naomi, J.C., Jessica, Kiet, Sandy, Vinod, Joel, Daryl, and the rest of those who I haven't mentioned. All of you have touched my life in some way, and I hope that we could spend more days together than what's been given to us. It's a new beginning that I'm afraid what the outcome might be, but I won't know until I move forward.

Thank you everyone for all the memories that I cherished that was made with all of you...